Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Randomize
