I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize