Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
