hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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