Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
