My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
