Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
