Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
