My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
