True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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