In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
