Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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