Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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