I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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