I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
