I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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