it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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