The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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