you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
