standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
