you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize