She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
