Dude my mom stole all your condoms
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
