Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
