so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Randomize
