She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My cat gives me a boner
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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