tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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