why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize