i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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