I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
