Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
