VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Randomize
