I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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