Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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