We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
