Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
