All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
