Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
4 words: hood of his car
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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