i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
