Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
