Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize