there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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