she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
