WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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