it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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