he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
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