Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
