is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you didnt know i had herpes?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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