Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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