So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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