my mouth tastes like poor choices
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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