You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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