After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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