please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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