giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
