Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
