Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
