You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
